At some point or another most of us have been in a situation where we had to eat alone at a restaurant. Your face burning with the realization that people are probably pitying you. The intense urge to awkwardly announce that you do indeed have friends and that someone somewhere probably loves you.
It’s a sad reality that in our culture it’s not considered ‘normal’ to enjoy a meal by yourself.
One summer while I was in college I lived alone in a town where I didn’t know anyone. Not being a fan of fast food, I had to learn quickly how to sit down at a restaurant and enjoy a meal by myself.
Now, that’s one of my favorite things to do.
Not just eating out alone either, but, going to movies, getting coffee, spending time at the park, and yes, drinking.
If you know me then you know that I’m 99% extrovert. You would think spending time alone is the last thing I’d want to do. For the most part it is. But, I don’t consider being alone in public to be the same. I gain energy from being around people, but, I still need time with my own thoughts.
I take one day a week to spend by myself around town. I may go to the movies, spend time at the park, grab coffee, shop, go to my favorite bar, and I always have a meal.
Here are the reasons I think you should do the same:
1. Learn to enjoy time with yourself!
I think there’s nothing more attractive then a person who can entertain themselves. If you have a great time and are happy in your own skin and without the help of anyone else, then, there’s probably no one I want to be around more. There’s something about independent people that I believe to be contagious! Also, there’s a Harvey Danger song that says, “if you’re bored, then you’re boring.” I’ll leave it at that.
2. You don’t have to consult anyone!
I have this issue with guilt. I have to know everyone is happy and having a good time. If we go to the movie that I want to see then I feel guilty that someone else may not want to be watching it. {I know I need to work on that.} But, going by myself gives me the chance to watch all the movies that others may not want to see or go to restaurants without discussing it. I can make every decision as I feel it. If I want to go somewhere there’s no one to discuss it with, I can just go!
3. You have time with your thoughts.
I spend so much of my time with other people that I often forget to ask myself what I think about things. I listen to other’s opinions and I’m easily persuaded. But, at the end of the day I want to make sure I’m aware of my thoughts and concerns. What is it that I’m passionate about? What do I really think about our governor? What am I spending the most of my time doing and is it building the life I want to have? Spending even just a few hours alone with your thoughts can spark new creativity and you may surprise yourself with what you come up with!
4. Meet New People!
It’s difficult to make new friends with you’re with other friends. But, it’s so easy to connect to people when you’re out alone. Just smiling at a stranger and you could end up in a conversation deeper than you would with some of your closest friends. True story: last week I was alone at my favorite coffee shop and made 3 new friends in 30 minutes, exchanged phone numbers with all of them and have plans to hang out! I’ve even met clients by having meals by myself. {for those that don’t know, I’m a photographer!}
{on my way to a day out alone…}
There are just a few tips I have for those starting days out by yourself!
1. Put the phone down.
It’s very tempting to spend the entire time ‘checking your e-mail’ or looking busy. Put your phone away for as much of your time as possible.
2. Bring a book.
It’s comforting to have somewhere to put your eyes. But, try to make it as productive and thoughtful as possible.
3. Don’t read your book the entire time!
Yes, it’s comforting to have somewhere to put your eyes, but, push yourself to have no social safety net. It may thrill you.
4. Smile!
It shows your secure and opens you up to conversations with new people. {if that’s what you’re into.}
What about you? Tell me your favorite dining alone story in the comments below!
xoxo,
Sarajane.
Great post! I have to travel a lot for work by myself, so that made me very comfortable with eating alone. After a few times, I found it was one of my favorite things to do. I agree with everything you posted…being comfortable in your own skin and being OK with just yourself is huge and VERY attractive to others.
Sometimes when I’m witnessing a beautiful sunset or taking a walk in warm weather, I catch myself thinking “man, I wish my husband were here to enjoy this with me.”…but then I realize that it is enough to enjoy it for myself…and when I do realize this, it makes me feel even more at peace and calm.
Thanks for the post – it was great!
I used to travel a lot for work and I had to have dinner alone on a pretty regular basis. Rather than sit in a hotel by myself, I really like “taking myself out on a date” — dinner and a movie or something of the like. I also found I learned a bit about the area by chatting with my server or bar tender, too. I dont know why it never occurred to me to make a habit of it in my own town. Thanks for the tip
I love eating alone! I go to moves alone too
Glad I’m not the only one!